One day, I was talking to my best friend about why we don’t have too many girlfriends, and we came to the conclusion that we get along so well because we both think like guys lol. We don’t do too much girl talk, we avoid admitting feelings like the plague, and we're very logical. We talk explicitly about sex and men (sometimes TMI lol) and we tell each other the hard, honest truth about our relationships. We were raised around a bunch of men (brothers, dads, uncles, etc) so that explains our mentalities. When I think about it, all women think like men, or have the potential to. Men and women are not that different; we may have different ways of expressing feelings, but our thought processes are similar. Steve Harvey wrote that damn book and made millions of dollars off of something we already know! Yeah, I bought the book too... Smh!

Think about it… If you’re in a situation right now, think about the way this man treats you. Does he only call you when he wants something? When you call or text him, does he act annoyed or take a long time to reply? Look at little things like that and think about times when you have done those things to a guy. Why did you do them? Because you didn’t like him like that, right? Remember that super sweet guy who blew up your phone all day… when he was getting on your nerves, you would wait hours or days to finally reply to him. Or that man who was always available and would take you out on expensive dates whenever you wanted. You only called him when you were bored or hungry lol. Maybe you know a man with an incredible body who looks like a Greek god, but he couldn’t read a Dr. Seuss book. You only texted him when you wanted the D… Do you see where I’m going with this? We all act the same way when we don’t really like someone.

Men and women also act the same when we do like someone. When you like a guy, you want to talk to them often, right? You make plans to see each other, no matter how busy you are. You do what you can to make him happy. It’s that simple. What really separates men and women is the woman’s ability to overanalyze every little thing! Men don’t do that. They can tell by your actions if you like them. (“Tiffany hasn’t called me in two days, so she’s not feeling me. Let me fall back.”) End of story. They move on… they don’t call up their homeboys and talk for hours about why she hasn’t called. They just let it go. Women, on the other hand, come up with every excuse to defend his behavior. (“Jay hasn’t called in two days because he’s so busy. He works, goes to school, has a dog, has to brush and floss his teeth, and needs at least 8 hours of sleep every night. I totally understand.”) And she talks to her girlfriends forever to reach that ridiculous conclusion.

I never realized this until recently. I talked to one guy, Chris, for years (on and off). He treated me like he just didn’t care. He wouldn’t call or text me for days, he only made plans with me when he was horny, but he would talk all this shit about how much he liked me and wanted to be with me BLAH BLAH BLAH. One day, while still dealing with Chris, I started talking to a guy named Kyle. I didn’t like him at all, but he gave me what I wanted. He bought me gifts, took me out, and even helped me move into my apartment. But I treated Kyle the same way Chris treated me. I wouldn’t call for days, I only made plans with him when I was bored, and I led him on by saying how much I liked him, but I was just too busy BLAH BLAH BLAH… That’s when it hit me. Chris felt the same way about me, as I felt about Kyle. It took years to understand this! Now, I look at every guy I date and see how he treats me. Does he treat me like I treated Kyle? If he does, I know to leave him alone.

That’s about the only difference between men and women. Men take things at face value, and for some reason we don’t. Steve Harvey was right about one thing; we need to start thinking like men. Actually, we need to realize that men and women think alike already. Next time you’re questioning your man’s behavior, think about a time when you may have acted like him and it will all make sense!

Have you ever met a woman who demands attention everywhere she goes? She may not be the prettiest, but men stop and stare at her anyway. She may not say much, but when she does people listen. She walks with purpose and you can tell just by looking at her that this woman has her life together (or so it seems). This woman is a queen. No one can pinpoint why people are drawn to her; maybe it’s her personality, or her smile… whatever it is, she is special. Every woman has the potential be like her—like a queen. Here are 5 traits that make a woman a queen:

1.     A queen is confident.

She doesn’t have to be the most beautiful girl in the world, but she knows her worth. Whether she is in sweats or an evening gown, you can tell that she is self-assured. She walks with purpose and her head held high. She doesn’t care what other people say about her and continues to do her own thing despite adversity. She doesn’t feel the need to post half-naked selfies on Instagram to boost her self-esteem. She knows that whether she gets 10 likes or 1000, she’s beautiful.

2.     A queen is independent.

Being an independent woman seems to have a negative undertone among men. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having your own. In fact, it’s a great feeling to be able to pay your bills on time, take care of your kids, and still have something left over to treat yourself. However, there is something wrong with rubbing it in people’s faces. If you’re constantly on Facebook bragging about your Michael Kors bags and your new Louboutin’s, that’s not being a queen—that’s being a spoiled little girl. If you’re always telling men to “get your bread up,” or “get on my level” you’re sending the wrong message, and honestly, it’s annoying as hell. A person who has to brag about their “stuff” clearly isn’t used to having nice things. A queen gets what she wants and lets it speak for itself. It’s obvious that she works hard for what she has, and doesn’t rely on others unless it is absolutely necessary. She doesn’t take handouts easily because she realizes how much more rewarding it is to earn her own money. Any man in her presence knows that she isn’t looking for a sponsor, but an equal partner who is willing to help her build an empire.

3.     A queen is classy.

She is aware that people are constantly watching her. Her children look up to her, her family members follow her on social media, her bosses may Google her, so she’s mindful of how she presents herself. You’ll never see her sloppy drunk in public, she doesn’t post all of the details of her life on the Internet, and she is rational enough to handle public conflicts in a way that doesn’t end up on Worldstar. I’m not saying that she doesn’t go out and have fun, she is just aware of her surroundings. You never know who may be watching…

4.     A queen is intelligent.

She doesn’t need to be a Harvard grad or a straight A student. Actually, she doesn’t even need to have a degree. By intelligent, I mean she has common sense. She can carry on a logical conversation without looking stupid, and if she doesn’t know something, she’s not afraid to ask. Intelligent also means that she is very knowledgeable about something. Maybe she's an expert on cooking or makeup techniques and can share that knowledge with others.

5.     A queen is positive.

She never puts another woman down. Why would she? She doesn’t gain anything from being rude to others. She is focused on being her best self and has no time to gossip or spread negativity. Her good vibes are contagious and you just feel better when you’re around her. She never lets her bad moods infect others and she manages to smile even when she doesn’t want to.

I think these 5 traits make queens stand out from regular women. A regular woman may get overlooked, but you can’t ignore a queen’s presence. She’s royalty, you know…