I'm probably the worst blogger ever, but I've been gone for a minute. School and life got in the way for a moment but I'm here again with a new post! I'm all about self-improvement and one of the things that I have been trying to work on is not complaining. I'll admit that I'm a whiner. I whine about everything. "This is too hard!" "This class is so pointless," "Why don't I have more money," "Why can't I look like so and so," blah blah blah... It's very annoying. So I make a vow each morning to try to go the whole day without complaining. This is why I (and all of us) should stop complaining. When there is a problem in your life, you have two options: 1. change it, or 2. accept it. There are some things that we have no control over, like certain health issues, losing a job, a death in the family, etc. Those things have to be accepted. You just trust that God put those obstacles in your life to make you a better person and try to be at peace about it. Easier said than done, but that's really the only thing you can do. The other problems in your life can be changed. When you feel a complaint enter your mind, just ask yourself "Am I willing to change this?" I had an old coworker who CONSTANTLY complained! She was such a dark cloud and I could feel the whole atmosphere change as soon as she walked through the door :-( Before I could even say hello, she would start bitching about something. "I'm sick of this job," "I'm ready to move out of my mom's house," "I need a new car," "I can't fit my clothes anymore," "I miss my ex-boyfriend," blah blah blah... I wanted to be rude and tell her all of these things can be fixed if she stopped being lazy and tried to fix them! She could fill out job applications, find a better career so she could move out and get the car, go to the gym and eat a salad every once in a while... but she would rather sit around and complain all day. As the old saying goes, happiness is a choice. 90% of the time, if you are unhappy it's because you CHOOSE to be.* If you're in a dead end relationship, just leave. If you hate your job, find a new one. If you want a better body, go to the gym. If you are a Debbie Downer, I encourage you to just wake up each day and decide that you will not complain under any circumstances. When you feel a complaint enter your mind, just ask yourself "Am I willing to change this?" If the answer is no, just be happy and keep going on with your life. Clearly, your situation can't be too bad if you are unwilling to change it, right? If the answer is yes, take action to change it! Just STOP COMPLAINING and be grateful for all of the wonderful things that you have! Be blessed everyone! *That statistic is 100% made up :-)
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It’s Friday night and you’re stuck at the house watching another bootleg movie on Netflix. You look at your phone… no new notifications. So you say to yourself, “I’m so bored. I wonder what (insert man’s name here) is doing.” You text Rodney, the fool who lied about having a girlfriend; or Jeremy, the boy who only texts you at 2 am to “kick it,” or your ex who will never act right for longer than a week. After you text so and so out of boredom, he comes over and you hang out. It feels so good to finally have some company! Someone to laugh with, talk about random things with, and maybe even cuddle with. You’re so excited that he’s over there, and it’s been a while, so of course you get the D! The next morning (or shortly afterwards), he’s gone. Now what? Use your alone time to focus on yourself. You don’t have to be “boo’d up” all the time. If you’re one of those rare women who can have sex without getting attached, that's awesome I guess... Just be safe… For the rest of us, sex = crazy, irrational feelings. So for the next few days you get mad at Rodney because he didn’t text you again like he promised. You stay up late waiting for Jeremy to call you again, but he doesn’t, or you’re stressing out because your ex said he still loves you but he’s too “busy” to hang out again. Yeah, you had a great Friday night, but you spend the rest of the week upset about someone who only wanted to smash. This has happened to the best of us. I would be bored out of my mind, and call an available guy to kick it with (usually an ex so my body count wouldn’t go up. SMH), and for the next week or so I would be going crazy trying to figure out why he hasn’t talked to me since our “amazing” night. I quickly found out that it’s not worth it. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather be “bored” every night of the week than deal with emotions and bullshit. I told that to one of my friends recently. She basically said she’s bored, so she would rather go back to her no good ex than be alone. No ma’am! Sure, you’ll have a date on Friday (if you call Netflix and chill a date), but you’ll have a headache the other six days! Use your alone time to focus on yourself. You don’t have to be “boo’d up” all the time. Next time you get bored, don’t call that guy. Go to the gym, check up on a friend or family member, cook a meal, pray… I don’t care! Just do something YOU want to do that doesn’t involve the headaches/heartaches of a man...
Those of you who are reading this are probably thinking, what does she know about being a wife? She’s not married… she’s not even engaged! Does she even have a boyfriend?? And you would be exactly right. I don’t know a damn thing about being a wife. I’ve never been married, or engaged. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never even been in a relationship for longer than 18 months! SMH… So, the title is a little bit misleading, I guess. Let me explain…
I’ve always wanted to get married. How awesome would it be to go to sleep and wake up to the same person every day? I’ll have someone to take care of and someone to take care of me forever… I imagine it’s a wonderful feeling! I’m almost 25 years old and of course, my biological clock is ticking. I’m starting to see friends and old classmates tie the knot and start families, and it makes me want to join the bandwagon too. As my relationship with God began to grow, I started to realize WHY I wasn’t married yet. Back in the day, I was arrogant. I used to think, “I’m smart, I look good, I cook and clean… any man would be lucky to wife me up!” Now I realize that I’m not all that (which is why I’m not married or engaged). I’m extremely flawed—I’m broken, insanely insecure, sinful, needy, spoiled, and the list goes on and on. Once I made the discovery that I’m absolutely NOT marriage material, I began to pray. I asked God to fix me and turn me into a wife; someone that a strong man would be proud to claim; someone who could one day raise intelligent, righteous children; a true Proverbs 31 woman. And it’s definitely working! Ever since I said that prayer, I have noticed a lot of changes occurring within me; changes that will make me an incredible woman for my own sake, as well as a phenomenal wife to some lucky man (if that’s in the plan for me). 1. I pray harder and more often. I started to pray about everything, no matter how big or small. From “God, please allow me to pay my bills this month” to “Lord, I pray that my hair doesn’t frizz until I get home!” LOL! Seriously though, I’ve just been submitting everything to Him. I rarely get stressed out anymore, whereas in the past I would stress myself out to the point of becoming physically and mentally ill. I think this is an important trait because marriage is very difficult (so I’ve heard). If you stress out over every little thing, you’ll run yourself and your husband crazy! 2. I’m more financially responsible. During my internship, I’m not working so I had to plan out every expenditure for the next few months. I know exactly where every cent of my money is going in advance and I have a strict budget. It’s so hard because I love shopping and trips… honestly, I just love spending money lol. This is a great trait for a wife to have because monetary issues are a main cause for divorce. Actually, this is a trait that ALL adults should have, regardless of marital status. You should always keep track of where your money is going so there won’t be any unpleasant surprises in the checkout line at WalMart. 3. I’m less emotional. I’ll just be real… I’m a woman. I can go from 0 to 100 realllll quick. I can go through all five stages of grief in 20 minutes. One day I may want to kill everyone, the next day I’m everyone’s best friend. Women are emotional by nature. I will say that now I’m in more control of my feelings. Little things that used to send me over the edge don’t have the same effect on me anymore. Seeing a tiny scratch on my car or someone saying something negative about my hair used to ruin my whole day. I don’t dwell on things as much as I used to; I have more important things to worry about. I also don’t act on my emotions as quickly. In my past relationships, if I felt the urge to break up with a guy, I would do it with no hesitation. I would just wake up one day angry for no reason and decide that I’m going to be single lol. Now, I wait a while before making a decision. Strong feelings like that usually pass after a day or two. 4. I’m more patient. This has been the hardest transition yet! When I want something, I want it NOW. Not in 10 minutes, not next week, not next year… RIGHT NOW! One of the bad things about making changes is that you’ll be forced to do a lot of things that you don’t want to do. Right now, I’m literally in a state where I can’t do anything but wait. I have to wait to graduate, wait to see my boyfriend, wait for a job, wait for my hair to grow… It’s driving me crazy! I have to remember that gaining patience will make me a better person/future wife/future mother in the long run. 5. I’m more comfortable with myself. You’ve heard the old saying “No one can love you until you love yourself.” It's cliche, but very true. In the past, my insecurities ruined every relationship or possible relationship I had. Guys would say they loved me, but I wouldn’t believe them. Or I would think there was something wrong with them for having feelings for me… Yeah, I was messed up in the head. Now, God has helped me learn to love my flaws which will give another person the opportunity to love them as well. :-) I know that I have changed in more ways but these five stuck out to me the most. Ladies, I encourage all of you to say this prayer if you haven’t already! Even if you never want to be married or tied down, you can still have the attributes of a Godly woman. Your life will be much less stressful and happier. There's a possibility that I may never get married, but I’m glad that God is changing me into a better woman! Update: I'm married now! See? Working on yourself will change how people perceive you and bring all of the right people into your life. |
AuthorWhitney is currently an exhausted teacher, a loving daughter, an annoying little sister, and a devoted wife. :-) Categories
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