No, this is not a new STD lol, it's a long distance relationship :( If you look it up on Pinterest or Tumblr you see all of these cute inspirational posts, like
Can I roll my eyes any harder? LDRs are NOT CUTE OR FUN AT ALL! I'd rather have my teeth pulled than be in a LDR. I'd rather have to eat brussel sprouts every day for a year than be in a LDR. I'd rather move back in with my parents than be in a LDR! (You get how much it sucks, right?) Well, maybe military LDRs suck worse than say, college LDRs. My boyfriend decided at the age of 23 to join the army and pretty much go wherever Uncle Sam takes him. Unc decided he was going to Japan (yay...). He is on the other side of the freaking world, and literally an entire ocean away :( we're not even in the same day most of the time!
It's difficult, especially when I see my friends posting USies and making plans with their boyfriends... I'm always wondering why God put me in this situation. Why did I have to fall in love with someone who is absolutely perfect for me but is physically unavailable?? It's beyond frustrating sometimes... It would be so easy to be in a mediocre relationship with someone who lives 10 minutes away from me, but I would be miserable. So, I'm gonna wait it out for my man and pray that everything works out in the end.
Those of you who can relate know how hard it is to maintain a relationship when you can't see your significant other all the time, but here are a few things that my bf and I believe make the distance a little easier to bear:
Luckily, we live in a world with tons of technology and ways to reach out. If you can't call or text, use FaceTime, send a tweet or DM, tag each other in pictures or posts, etc. There's no excuse to not hear from your S.O. for days at a time. Even though my bf is a day ahead of me, we talk or text twice a day. When I'm waking up, he's going to sleep and vice versa. So I talk to him in the morning and at night. Everyday. NO EXCUSES! Every weekend, we FaceTime each other. Since we don't have to work, we can spend more time talking and catching up with each other :-) Consistent communication routines keep us from wondering what the other is doing and make us seem closer.
2. LITTLE GIFTS
Since I'm from the new school, I have no idea how the mail system works, let alone international mail! So I decided to make a bunch of cards that he could open throughout the year (birthday, Christmas, anniversary, etc). Look up "Open When..." cards on Pinterest and you'll have all kinds of ideas! Anyway, he really appreciated it and it gives him something to look forward to during our time apart. If you're lucky and your man lives in the US, send him something nice every now and then. Cards, care packages, hand-written letters, gifts, pictures ;-) just random things that he would enjoy. Who doesn't love getting mail? It's exciting to look in the mailbox and see something other than bills waiting for you lol.
I cannot emphasize this enough! In fact, trust should be #1 on this list, but I already typed it up... lol. Before entering a long distance relationship, or any relationship, you have to trust your partner 100%. If I didn't trust my bf, I would be going crazy. He's nowhere near me so I can't just drive by his house to make sure nobody else is there. Honestly, he could be getting a happy ending from some Asian massuese right now and I wouldn't know it... Fortunately, we trust each other and he's innocent until proven guilty! He never gives me any reason to worry anyway. If I randomly text or call him, he'll answer so I know what he's doing. (If he doesn't, he's sleeping lol). Even when he lived in my city, he never gave me a reason to doubt him. The same thing goes for me... I don't give him any reason to worry either. I don't do anything that would make him suspicious and I make sure I answer his texts and calls, unless I'm asleep or at work. If you don't trust your partner, your LDR will not last!
4. INDIVIDUAL LIVES
Being in an LDR is basically like being single all over again. Of course, you don't go on dates or have sex... So being in an LDR is basically like being a nun lol. It's boring! If you don't have your own agenda, you will be miserable! I'm glad that I have school and work to keep me occupied, otherwise I would be going insane! Please don't be one of those people who spends all day and night waiting by the phone... Your sole purpose for living is to talk to your S.O. at the end of the day. That's pathetic! Use this time apart to better yourself! Go to the gym so you can be sexier when you reunite. Get another job so you can afford to visit each other more often. Take some classes, read books, reconnect with friends, do something to make the time go by faster. If you don't have your own life outside of the relationship, the days until you see each other will drag by even more slowly!
5. AN END GOAL
Your LDR will not last without goals. You need a statement of purpose ("We are in an exclusive relationship") and a specific conclusion ("we will be in the same city/get engaged/get married after X amount of time"). If you and your partner can't make these two statements, the odds of you lasting are very very slim. You can't be 100s or 1000s of miles apart indefinitely. Having a goal gives you both something to look forward to. You're working towards something together. I know I said I wonder why I'm going through this... my bf and I remind each other everyday. We want to be together after I graduate (in 6 months!!!). That's why we deal with the loneliness and the boredom... and I don't know about him, but there have been a few nights that I've cried :-( But the tears and frustration will be worth it once we reach that goal and I can't wait! :-)