Where are they now?

I believe that there is no point in casual sex. None whatsoever. “But it’s fun,” some of you will say. “It feels good,” others will say… but so what? Ever since I found out about soul ties and have seen its effect on several of my friends and myself, I really started to become more selective about who I “give” myself to. I also realized that none of those guys who received a special part of me give a fuck about me. I reached this conclusion one day after going days without human contact. No texts, no calls, no DMs... I really starting thinking, where are they now? Believe me, I don’t care if my exes check up on me or not, but that thought just resonated in my mind for a while.

To me, sex is more of a spiritual experience than a physical one. When you do it, you become one with another person. One mind, body, soul… it’s a very special thing (I truly understand why it should be saved for marriage, but it’s too late for all that!). I have had this deep, sensual experience with quite a few guys and I can honestly say that NONE of them can be called a friend. At one time, we shared such an intimate encounter, but where are they now? I can’t call them up and have a genuine conversation. We don’t ask each other how our lives are going. We don’t pray for each other’s well being… we don’t even care about how the other is doing! There may even be one or two past lovers who don’t even know (or care) if I’m still alive. I’m sure many of you can relate. Like I said, I don’t want any of their attention… it’s just the fact that these people have a part of me that I can never get back, but we don’t even exist to each other anymore. That’s crazy, right? To me, it is. That’s why I’m more cautious now about who I become intimate with. Ideally, I would like to hold out until marriage. That’s my goal, but I can’t lie to you… I’m only human! That’s just something to think about before you let a man enter you. Will he still be there in a year? A month? Next week??